...because studying chemistry paid off

in case you didn't know, i went into college thinking that i was going to major in chemistry.  although i knew i didn't necessarily want to do anything related to chemistry as my life-long profession, i thoroughly enjoyed the struggle and challenge of working to comprehend the material and master the concepts. chemistry was not something that came easy to me, but i liked that it was hard.  and i liked that you could combine two different things to create a reaction or make something entirely new. i especially liked writing up our experiments and listing out my hypothesis; even if my educated guess was incorrect, i wasn't necessarily wrong because i still learned something. i changed my major in the middle of my second semester during undergrad.  i no longer study the periodic table of elements (and haven't in nearly 5 years), however, i still perform experiments on a daily basis.  you see, i have come to view my life as an experiment.  i have decided just to try things and see what happens... to add in different ingredients and alter my methodology. it undeniably sounds cliche and probably a little cheese-y, but what i am trying to create is the best version of myself.  and when you can see your life as an experiment, there are no failures, but only lessons.  right now, i am in the process of refining my equation.

what i know is that happiness, people, love, kindness, knowledge, helping, and health are some of the key components.  i also know that these components are compounds-substances that contain two or more elements -and that they require a certain amount of each to balance one another out.  for example, for my happiness, i  have to have a balance of stress and relaxation, of acceptance and motivation to change, of gratitude and control over my emotions.  my "helping compound" has to contain equal amounts of working with others and taking care of myself.  you get the point.  what i am trying to say is that i'm slowly starting to become more aware of the key ingredients (and what they comprise of) that balance out my equation-my life.  i guess that is what this whole blog site and year long project has been about, but i've only recently been able to fully define what it would mean for me to be working towards my best self.  we all have different ingredients, compounds, catalysts (and every other chemistry word i forgot) and varying amounts of each that are necessary for our individual equations.

what's important is that we continue to refine it.  that we continue to improve... to be better than we were yesterday.

i have learned that to be happy, i have to understand what makes me happy and how much of it, what decreases my happiness and when. i have learned to better understand the people I surround myself with, how they relate to me, and how i am impacted by them.  i have learned how to admire others without having to compare myself to them, of how to accept who people are without wanting to change them.  and throughout this process i am also ruling out the things i don't need, or things i would like to have more of...and best of all, it is okay if i don't get it right the first time.and in the spirit of experimenting, i am also testing out new behaviors...like not panicking or stressing about the fact that i am going to be late, when i am in fact going to be late, or working out even when i don't want to.   i'm also using set backs as opportunities to practice patience, mistakes as lessons for improvement, and making/finding/creating time for all of the things i say that i never have the time for.   

the best part about each day of your life is that it is yours.

you can choose how you spend it, the attitude you bring, and what you get out of it.

what do you need in your life and how much?

what would it take for you to work towards becoming your best self?

:)