...because of my first summer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8R399dzIHUit was two days full of 'center of the universe' snowcones and jalepeno corn dogs. bottles of water and fedoras. we sat in the unbearable heat on the  fleece blanket i made my boyfriend and played card games while we waited. it was the 'gentelmen of the road' tour this weekend and we went to hear mumford and sons play. the silence of the crowd as we all listened intently to their musical talent was well worth the nine and a half hours  we endured in the sweltering heat.

and though it may still be over 90 degrees, i kind of considered it to be my farewell to summer.  my first non-school summer, which meant no staying up all night and sleeping in all day.  it meant not getting to spend my afternoons stretched out in the grass reading or eating snowcones all day.  there was no getting lost in the streets of new york city or  traipsing  around croatia with the wind in our hair. but this summer was one of new kinds of new experiences. weddings. forming new friendships and re-connecting with old ones. it was a summer of working harder and doing better. my first professional career growth and lessons about being an adult without feeling like an adult. it was a summer of adapting to what my life currently is while still reaching for all that it can be. 

 and i always like the shift from summer to fall, from fall to winter, and winter to spring.  the ease with which we transition from laying outside in the grass on a blanket all day to cuddling up on the couch with a warm cup of tea. i like seeing us looking forward to change.  the excitement that is centered around a new season and different kinds of days.  the anticipation of colder weather, pulling out our scarves and boots, eating homemade chili and drinking chai tea. and so i wonder if we could learn to be grateful for the changing of other seasons in our life.  the ending of a relationship, the farewell to the familiar, the beginning of a new job. seasons of career decisions, changed hearts, and transformed points of view. i wonder what it would be like if we could embrace those difficult days in the same way we appreciate the crisp air and vibrant oranges, burnt reds, and perfect yellows. i think life provides us with constant change in the same way that the earth provides us with seasons; we may want to hold on just a little bit longer, but there is always beauty in letting go. look for it. find it. celebrate the shift from certainty to the unknown  in the same way we look forward to wearing those boots and scarves; move as seamlessly from an old expectation to a new beginning as we do from cold lemonade to hot tea and pumpkin flavored coffee. from fresh cut grass to stepping on those crunchy leaves. change might be hard and uncomfortable, but it doesn't have to be labeled as bad.  change is what you make of it, what you learn from it, and what you do with it. and that can always be a good thing if you let it be. so what if we could just let it all go, and let whatever it is just be.  without trying to resist, judge, or change it.  what if we could accept difficult days and move gracefully with them to wherever they take us.  it may sound cliche, but what if we really could dance through life like those leaves in the wind, twirling and winding. landing wherever you fall and moving on.because the fall is a beautiful thing.  

and even though fall has been my favorite season, what i'm really looking forward to is all the change that comes with it.